


something, anything, everything

by randomprose



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, karasuno first years friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-06-01 06:21:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15137015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/randomprose/pseuds/randomprose
Summary: It’s not so much as he doesn’t want anything in life as it is so much that he doesn’t expect anything. Either way, Kei wants and expects nothing and therefore nothing shall be wanted nor expected of him.And then Kuroo Tetsurou came.The truth is Kei rarely wants anything but when he does, he wants it all.





	something, anything, everything

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by hypernoya's [tweet](https://twitter.com/hypernoya/status/1007475927465332736)
> 
> it's kurotsuki week!!! aahhhh i'm living for all of this GOOD CONTENT spilling out in this very very dry fandom as of late uwu. but sadly, this might be my one and only kurotsuki week fest contribution and it's not even on theme. *sighs* sorry, lads. sad uwu.

 

 

“Nothing.”

“Eh?” Hitoka intones with a slight tilt of her head, cheeks red from the three pints she’s drunk. “Nothing? Really?”

“That can’t possibly be true,” Shouyou reasons out. “Everyone wants at least something. Man cannot exist and want nothing. It’s basic human nature for man to always want something.”

Tadashi nods to himself, used to Shoyou’s tendency to spout philosophical drivel when drinking, he picks up his pint swirling the beer inside it lightly. “You’re either the most content or the most selfless person to have ever walked this planet,” he says before finishing his pint in a long slow sip. “And you are neither of that.” He shoots a pointed look at Kei.

“Is this a philosophy thing? Is this something from one of your polisci classes or something? ‘Coz I heard one of the polisci majors talking about Marxism and socialism the other day. Are you going communist, Kei?”

“No, Hitoka, I’m not going communist.” Kei answers, exasperated. “It’s just as it is. I don’t want anything.”

“I call bullshit,” Tobio states, taking the last skewer for himself and ignoring Shouyou’s indignant squawk.

Kei just shrugs finishing his own pint.

“Then I don’t know what to tell you.”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

It’s the basic principle of equal trade.

If you want something, you have to give something in return. If you want nothing, then nothing will be wanted from you.

If he wants better grades, he’s gonna have to exhaust himself more than he already does. If he wants to get another scholarship, he’s gonna have to try for an athletic one and that’d be more physical work. If he wants to afford a better apartment, he’s going to have to work two, maybe three, jobs.

But it’s not so much as he doesn’t want anything in life as it is so much that he doesn’t expect anything.

Either way, Kei wants and expects nothing and therefore nothing shall be wanted nor expected of him.

Except when he does.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

‘Everything’ comes in the form of atrocious bed hair, sly smiles, and coy eyes with the name of Kuroo Tetsurou.

“Let’s get coffee,” Koushi, a senpai, said after an afternoon of tutoring. “I know a great place on campus that has really great coffee,” he said.

“You can’t mean _there_?” Daichi, another senpai, complained accompanied with a face.

“You can say all you want about Kuroo but you can’t deny he makes a mean caffeine fix. And the pastries are not half bad, too.”

“Fine,” Daichi acquiesced, never one to say no to the other, always susceptible to Sugawara Koushi’s charms. “I like their muffins there anyway.”

“You hear that, guys?” Koushi turned to their ragtag team of freshmen. “Daichi’s going to buy us coffee and muffins!”

“Wait! That’s not—“

They go to this cozy little thing of a café just between the maths and arts and sciences buildings. Its name is something French which Kei didn’t bother to read because he didn’t think it was important at the time. It’s not awfully crowded and when they opened the door the bell above it made a soft tingling sound and they’re greeted with the warm smell of brewed coffee and freshly baked pastries.

Koushi and Daichi greet the person behind the counter in varying enthusiasm and then he introduces himself as:

“Kuroo Tetsurou, third year, Biochem; part-time barista and baker, full-time science nerd and an all-around nice guy. Nice to meet you.”

The next thing Kei knows, he knows the name of the cozy little café, can even pronounce it perfectly ( _Le Petit Grain de Café_ ), and even has a regular order (iced vanilla latte and strawberry shortcake or, on Wednesdays, strawberry muffin). The next thing Kei knows he’s seeing Kuroo Tetsurou less in the café and more in his everyday life.

And the next thing Kei knows he doesn’t want it to stop.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“What is it that you want in life?”

Kei resists rolling his eyes. What is the direct correlation between drinking alcohol and philosophy? And at some point, Kei has to ask, why is it always the same question? Except this time, it’s not Shouyou who’s waxing philosophical bullshit.

“Socrates says an unexamined life is not worth living. Plato says there is life after death. Aristotle says a good life is the consideration of ends and means. So, Tsukki,” Kuroo leans heavily on the table, cheeks flushed and eyes hooded. “What about you? What do you think?”

“I think none of what you said answers your question.”

“Don’t they?”

“They don’t. And last I check you’re a biochem major, Kuroo-san, not philosophy.”

“I can know stuff about two things.”

Kei opens his mouth to retort but it’s then that some of their friends decided they’ve had enough dancing for a while.

“It’s no use, Kuroo-san,” slurs Shouyou as he holds on to Tobio for balance. “Tsukishima wants nothing in life.”

“Oya, oya?” Koutarou crows, an arm slung over an equally tipsy Akaashi. “Is this the ‘what do you want in life?’ question of Professor Ukai?”

“Did you all, perchance, take the same philosophy course?”

“What? And you didn’t?” Keiji asks sliding in the booth beside Kei.

“I took Professor Washijo’s.”

In an astonishing moment of clarity amidst their alcohol-hazed minds, everyone collectively turned to Kei with various levels of disbelief and incredulity.

“How can you take Washijo’s—no, in fact, how can you take _any_ philosophy course other than Ukai’s?”

“Well, I did and it doesn’t matter now anyway because that was way back during the first semester of freshman year.”

“That was just last year, Tsukishima.”

“Whatever.”

A new song comes up and Koutarou and Shouyou drag Keiji and Tobio back on the dance floor. Kei and Tetsurou are once again left on their table sipping beers and vodka rums.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“Didn’t Hinata already said?”

“But I want to hear it from you.” Kuroo grins and the strobe lights illuminate him in a strange way that has Kei’s eyes stinging. He’s still leaning heavily on the table, propping his chin on one hand as he looks up to Kei. “What do you want in life, Tsukki?”

And Kei, without missing a beat, downs his rum and coke in one go, looks Tetsurou in the eyes and says—

“Nothing.”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Kei watches from their booth as Tetsurou sways and grinds against the mesh of bodies on the dance floor.

He’s not being subtle about it, Kei thinks, both of them aren’t as Tetsurou’s eyes never leave Kei’s as soon as he caught his stare. Tetsurou does a particularly sinful body roll, a twirl of his hips, and Kei clenches his jaw, his hand tightening around his glass of rum and coke. Tetsurou is dancing with a stranger and he turns so the back of his partner is on Kei but his eyes, intense and always so sly, are still on him and Kei feels a shudder run down his spine. He throws back the remainder of his—what was it now? Fifth?—drink before deciding to join the fray. If only to stop Tetsurou from looking at him over the shoulder of another as he grinds on them.

Kei and Tetsurou go home together in a flurry of alcohol-induced adrenaline rush and pent-up sexual tension. They stumble on Tetsurou’s apartment because it’s closer and they tumble into bed in a tangle of limbs.

In the morning, Kei wakes with the mother of all hangovers but sated and sore in all the right places. He turns to his side to see a still sleeping Tetsurou and he thinks about what he really meant when he said ‘nothing’ and if he really meant it—still mean it—and why it’s quickly turning into ‘something’ the longer he hangs around Tetsurou.

He doesn’t stay long enough to find out.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“You could have stayed, you know. It’s not like I would’ve kicked you out or something.”

“I didn’t want to intrude.”

“You weren’t. Like I said, I wouldn’t have minded so…just stay next time.”

“Next time?”

“Yeah. Next time.”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Next time becomes more than just sharing a bed and a quick fuck.

Next time becomes eating at the courtyard when they have the same lunch break and hanging out outside their group of friends.

It becomes study sessions, breakfast at the café before early morning lectures, them staying at each other’s place after hanging out until morning. It becomes watching the university volleyball team’s matches and getting roped into impromptu blocking practice because Tetsurou found out Kei used to play in high school.

Next time becomes Tetsurou knowing exactly how Kei likes his coffee and Kei bringing an extra umbrella on rainy days and an extra pair of gloves on the winter because Tetsurou always forgets his. It becomes Tetsurou having his own drawer of clothes in Kei’s dorm and Kei having his own toothbrush in Tetsurou’s apartment.

Next time becomes stealing kisses when no one is looking and holding hands just because.

Next time becomes something of a being more than just friends but not being quite there yet and Kei finds himself wishing for a lot more next times.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Okay. So, here’s the thing. For all of Kei’s talk about not wanting and expecting anything, it all mostly just boils down to him not knowing what he wants or expects.

That is, until Kuroo Tetsurou.

He still doesn’t know what he wants and he still doesn’t know what he expects but he does know it has something to do with Kuroo Tetsurou.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

‘Everything’ comes during the spring in the form of a bedridden Kei with hay fever, badly overcooked chicken noodle soup, and an overly concerned Kuroo Tetsurou.

“It’s fine. I’m fine,” Kei had said, a little muffled as he wipes his nose with a tissue. “This happens at least once every spring. You’re worrying over nothing.”

Tadashi had left for his morning classes. He swung by the café to grab a cup of coffee and when Tetsurou asked why Kei wasn’t with him, he told him he was sick. An hour and a half after Tadashi left, Kei groggily opened the door to a fretting Tetsurou, a bag of medicines and cans of chicken noodle soup on one hand and a thick blanket on the other.

“Yeah, sure. Try saying that again without snot running down your nose and looking like you’re about to cry every ten minutes.”

“I thought you said you’re here to take care of me. Why are you being mean now?”

Kuroo sighs at the weak glare Kei shoots him, moving towards the bed to tuck him in better.

“Has anybody ever told you that you act like a child when you’re sick?” He smiles when Kei sighs as he runs his hands through his hair. “The meds are probably working already. Don’t fight it and just sleep it off, yeah?”

“You make horrible soup by the way. How do manage to make soup taste burnt?” Kei remarks because, for all of Tetsurou’s prowess in baking, he is apparently painfully mediocre at cooking.

“Sorry about that,” Tetsurou laughs, running his hands over Kei’s hair. “I’ll work on it.”

Kei just hums, the hand running along his hair lulling him to sleep faster than the meds. He mumbles a quiet thanks before he completely knocks out and for Tetsurou to lock the dorm’s door when he leaves.

He comes through some time in the late afternoon. Kei groans as he slowly comes to consciousness, blinking away the sleep in his eyes. He sits up, turning his head to the side and is surprised to see Kuroo bent over his desk and sleeping.

Ah, so he didn’t dream up him coming to give him meds and soup. So that’s why he’s feeling much better than this morning. But he thought for sure Tetsurou had left earlier. He never misses a lecture. Did he come back when Kei was still sleeping?

“Oh, hey you’re awake,” a voice says and Kei turns to his door to see Tadashi.

 “How long have you been standing there?”

“Just now. I was gonna check up on you. How are you feeling?”

“Better.”

Tadashi hums leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest. His eyes drift to Tetsurou’s sleeping form, a funny little smile on his face.

“You know he never left?”

“What?”

“I got back early. I went to check up on you and maybe give you some meds but it seems Kuroo-san already did. He’s been there since noon I think.”

Oh.

So, Tetsurou never left. He missed a day of class because he took care of Kei. It’s just a simple hay fever and he should know it’s nothing to fret about—he’s a science major for god’s sake—k and yet he still stayed and made sure Kei was okay. There are open notebooks under where Tetsurou has laid his arms to rest his head. He must’ve been doing some homework before falling asleep. And he’d been here since noon, hunched over almost in half; that can’t be at all comfortable for his back. He could’ve left when Kei fell asleep. He already left him meds and food, but he still stayed. Kei’s chair and desk are not comfortable enough to sit for hours on end and yet he still stayed. Just to make sure Kei is okay.

And then the realization of Tetsurou staying and its implications slowly settle in.

Oh.

Kei turns to Tadashi with panicked eyes. Tadashi can only shrug and offer a sympathetic smile.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Hey, Kuroo-san.”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks. For the meds and the soup.”

“Don’t mention it, Tsukki.”

“Also I need to tell you something.”

“Hm? What is it?”

“…never mind. I suddenly forgot. It’s probably nothing.”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Tetsurou becomes vice-captain of the university’s volleyball team and Kei is reminded just how selfish he is.

Tetsurou has always been an amicable guy. Charming even when he’s not meaning to, even more so when he’s actually putting effort. And Kei knows this, knows Tetsurou is well liked and friendly to all, and yet he couldn’t quite help feeling an irrational anger whenever Tetsurou is a little more touchy, a little more friendly, with anyone outside their friend circle. He especially hates the irrational rush of anger whenever they’re out drinking and Tetsurou is dancing with someone else, swaying and grinding so close, giggling and whispering to each other.

It’s stupid and childish and ridiculous especially since he has no claim over Tetsurou whatsoever.

“What is it that you want then?” Keiji had asked when he’d managed to corner Kei, who’s had more than a couple of drinks in and it’s not even 9 PM, in the kitchen where all the alcohol is at.

“I don’t know.” Kei exhales sounding exhausted as he shakes his head. “I don’t know.”

Keiji just looks at him and Kei has the distinct feeling of being exposed and vulnerable. People always say Kenma’s gaze unsettles them. Clearly, they’ve never been on the receiving end of Keiji’s. Keiji’s eyes are always sharp, alert, but tonight there’s something in them that’s less lethal and softer around the edges.

“I think you do.”

Well.

Kei stares ahead; out on the backyard of the house the party is currently at, to where Tetsurou is talking and joking around with a couple of people. More and more people seem to gravitate towards their circle, a normal occurrence when Tetsurou is around, a gaggle of admirers circling him like a moth drawn to a flame.

And then, as if he senses that he was being talked about, Tetsurou turns and immediately spots Kei through the window leading to the kitchens and he smiles and gives a little wave.

It’s not so much as a something that Kei wants so much as it is everything that Kuroo Tetsurou has to offer, but he knows it’s impossible and he could never have that and so Kei settles for anything.

Keiji gives him a pat in the back before leaving, probably to go find Koutarou. It felt oddly commiserating.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“You called me selfish.”

“What?”

“You called me selfish.”

“When?”

Tadashi sends him an incredulous look across the table. The piece of tempura he’s got halfway through his mouth slipping from his chopsticks and back to his bento box. He tries to pick it up again when Kei just purses his lips and gives him a look.

“When we went out drinking and Hinata got all philosophical and shit.”

“Tsukki,” Tadashi sighs putting down his chopsticks, resigned that he won’t get to finish his lunch in peace until Kei is done. “Hinata always gets philosophical when we drink. It’s phase three on his drunk stage. And we’ve gone out drinking with him a bunch of times in the past years. You’re gonna have to be specific.”

“That night when—you know what, never mind. “ Kei hesitates before realizing it’s going to take more than a bit of recollection on Tadashi’s part and he’s really not in the mood to go into details. He sighs. “The point is, you called me selfish.”

Tadashi cocks an eyebrow and levels Kei back with a stare of his own.

“Well, are you not?”

He is.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

_‘Well, what do you want?’_

_‘Everything.’_

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

The truth is Kei rarely wants anything but when he does, he wants it all.

He’s always known he’s had a selfish streak. It doesn’t really manifest much, but when it does—oh, when it does.

“I don’t like sharing,” Kei suddenly blurts out one night when they’re lying on Tetsurou’s bed, naked under the sheets and fully sated. “I’ve never been good at it especially with things I take a particular liking to.”

“Okay,” Tetsurou says, casual and non-judgmental, simply acknowledging Kei’s statement.

“It also applies to people I like.” Kei continues, feeling oddly calm and at peace, despite the next words he’s going to utter. “And I like you. Very much.”

Tetsurou doesn’t say anything but Kei knows he’s not sleeping yet because he hasn’t turned on his stomach yet to bury his face on his pillow. They continue to lie side by side staring at the glow in the dark star stickers on the ceiling until Tetsurou shifts to his side and Kei turns his head to see Tetsurou staring at him. The room is dark but the light outside is enough to make him see the fond smile Tetsurou is sending his way and his eyes are soft as he cups Kei’s cheek.

“Oh, Kei,” Tetsurou says bringing their foreheads together. Kei takes a breath. “All you have to do is ask.”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The question. Again.

“Tell me, Tsukishima. What is it that you want in life?”

It’s Tetsurou, again, sitting across him in their usual booth at their favorite bar. He looks up at Kei with those sly eyes and that coy smirk, smug in knowing that Kei’s answer won’t be the same as the last time and taunting him into admitting defeat.

But, Kei thinks, there is no defeat to admit and no challenge lost, just an answer to a question.

“You,” Kei replies smiling slightly but genuinely, tone fond as he looks at Tetsurou in unabashed adoration. “Just you.”

Tetsurou rests his elbows on the table and leans, the coy smirk slowly stretching into a smile at the easy confession.

“Then you have me.”

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> i miss kurotsuki so much. huhu. talk to me about these dorks on [Tumblr](http://tsukishima-kuns.tumblr.com) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/proserandom) and remember kudos, and comments, keeps a writer happy and writing!!
> 
> HAPPY KUROTSUKI WEEK FEST!!  
> [bts sideblog](http://yoonigii.tumblr.com)  
> [bts stan twitter](https://twitter.com/yoonigii)  
> 


End file.
